perimenopause the perfect time for boudoir?

As a woman over 40 (42 to be precise), I am smack dab in the middle of this perimenopause bonanza.

• HRT

• 100+ grams of protein

• stubborn belly fat where once I had definition

• 4 am wake-ups

• weighted vests

• age spots

• supplements that take ages to count out

• less-than-stellar physician care

I mean… who knew so much was going to change? Duh, menopause was a known factor. Everyone knows that at some point your periods stop and most people recognize the symptom of hot flashes. But thanks to Dr. Mary Claire Haver and some other doctors hell-bent on improving the lives of middle-aged women… there’s a wealth of information and practical steps we can take.

Once upon a time I had a client come to my studio. I was like 32 with such nicely balanced hormones. She was 50ish. She wanted to reconnect with her sexy side. Okay, that’s what I hear from most moms regardless of age. During her session she took several breaks that I was more than happy to give her. But I was unprepared to understand or empathize with her crying streaks or her hot flashes. It was a roller coaster and she was embarrassed and apologetic. I assured her that it was totally fine and I was there to meet her where she was at. (women pictured are not the woman mentioned)

Flash forward a decade and I know sooooo much more. And I believe that every woman going through perimenopause or menopause should book a boudoir photoshoot for herself. Here’s why:

1) Divorce rates go waaaay up during this time. I am not a a therapist, but I know that improving a woman’s self image improves her intimacy with her spouse. Improving intimacy can improve the relationship. Also, sex distracts from the rage we feel when our husband chews loudly.

2) No matter what you do, you feel like your body is just not the same. It’s not. If you’re 30 and reading this and think you’ll just exercise harder and keep up the clean eating and you’ll age like a celebrity, let me give you a big hug. You’ll need to store those up for when you have a rude awakening one day your denim just won’t zip. But that’s okay. The only person who expects you to look like your 25-year-old self is you. So get into that flattering lingerie (yes, it’s time for the more expensive stuff) and take some sophisticated boudoir photos that focus on what you still have.

3) YOU ARE NOT GETTING YOUNGER. If you think you feel old at the age you are today… you will only feel older next year. So book the boudoir photoshoot now. If you magically reverse age… book another one then.

4) It’s fun. So much of the stuff you’ll be told to do like the laundry list I posted above will require effort and isn’t much fun. But boudoir is a lot of fun. Especially with Lavish Boudoir. Because I’m going to build you up and have you feeling like a million bucks before you even see a single photo.

4o is brutal on the body

But it doesn’t have to be.

Whoa, turning 40 changed A LOT! I thought 30 was a major change in metabolism, but 40 was like a screeching stop. Suddenly without any changes to my diet (fairly healthy) or exercise (very regular), I weighed more than I ever did while pregnant. WTF. I am not menopausal, but I’m sure it’s in my near future.

Then TikTok introduced me to Dr. Mary Claire Haver. I started to think... hmmm maybe something is up. I had lost my dad to cancer shortly after my birthday. I stopped sleeping well. I started craving sugar for the first time in my life. My weight would NOT budge. I wasn't comfortable with the age old: eat less and exercise more. I don't eat much and I get 10k-18k steps per day plus regular workouts. That's when I looked into cortisol levels when I realized my waist was packing on the padding for the first time in my pear-shaped life. I have a friend who is shameless about discussing health and body issues. There is no topic too gross for her. She recommended something for my digesting from Happy Mammoth. Welp, that opened my eyes to a whole slew of supplements. I started taking the Hormone Harmony and Bloat Banisher and started feeling changes immediately.

After a year of 3 am cortisol spikes and the restless wakeups that come with it, I was finally FINALLY sleeping through the night. Ha. I sound like an infant. But seriously, I was more tired and sleep deprived than I had been when my toddler woke me every night at 3 am asking for a bottle. Around this time, I started checking my hormones and getting an Rx for that (I'll share more later), but I knew this stuff was working because if I missed a nightly dose, I was sure to be spending 2 hours with my eyes wide open and praying for sleep.

I am not a doctor (duh), but I wanted to share my experience with this brand because I know there are so many of you out there who just don't know WTF is going on in your bodies or how to help it.

Here is my refferal link (I earn points) and you get a discount

I won't post your boudoir photos on OnlyFans. Ever.

I’m going to get on my soap box a little bit here. I firmly believe that photos you pay for should not be used for commercial/financial gain by a photographer on OnlyFans or similar websites, even with permission.

The photos you pay for should not be used commercially without compensation.

When a client signs a model release with me, I’m thrilled. It means I get one more uniquely beautiful woman in my portfolio that might be the one you relate to. Admittedly, I also appreciate the privilege of displaying my creative work that I’m proud of. I hope that the clients feel proud of their photos and is eager to show them off.

What it doesn’t mean is that a woman has been transformed from client to an actual model. Models are hired for specific commercial purposes, whether that’s a publication, a project or a for-profit website. It is a joint venture designed to make money for everyone.

Each of my clients hires me to create something beautiful and special for her. The privacy belongs to her.

So when you’re hiring a photographer or signing that model release… please ask about commercial use. If you’re not comfortable with the answer or get a weird vibe… do not sign even if you’re pressured into it. It’s okay to say no to any kind of model release.

I’m Leslie, owner and photographer at Lavish Boudoir!

I offer transformational boudoir photoshoots, complete with makeover, to help you feel confident, sexy & comfortable in your own skin.

I’d be honored to have you in my studio.

Schedule Complimentary Consultation

Wild vs Mild? Why I keep boudoir classy.

I’ve been in the boudoir business since 2009. So I've seen the trends come and go. In the 90s (before my time) it was feather boas and sky-high hair. In the 2000s, it was all about the Victoria’s Secret lingerie and props. In 2010s, it became more about the beauty of the woman and her confidence. That lent itself to a unique session for each woman. In 2020s it seems to be all about sex. The raunchier, the better.

So, at the risk of dating myself… I continue to create portraits that are timeless and classy. There are photographers for every woman, but I will continue to take photos a woman would call beautiful. I’m not a prude. I’m not afraid of nipples. We just don’t need to bring in nipple clamps and handcuffs to show them off in a tasteful artistic way.

I think that social media feeds from many boudoir photographers make it seem like all sessions have to be about sexuality, kink and pushing the boundaries. So women who just want to feel beautiful and sensual assume boudoir is not for them. Even I haven’t found a photographer for a new shoot for myself because frankly, I’m a 40 year old mom, wife, and business owner… I want to keep my photos looking more magazine and less OnlyFans.

If you’re looking for a genre that borders the line of erotica… I’m not your photographer. But if you want photos that will make you feel like a confident goddess… I can help with that.

Flashback to photos from 2011

I’m Leslie, owner and photographer at Lavish Boudoir!

I offer transformational boudoir photoshoots, complete with makeover, to help you feel confident, sexy & comfortable in your own skin.

I’d be honored to have you in my studio.

Schedule Complimentary Consultation